The Lucky Cabin

May 28th, 2008

Depression: When You Are By Yourself

Posted by admin in Psychologists Couch

It is, unfortunately, inevitable. You will find yourself alone at some point while you suffer from depression. It is unfortunate, but it is a statement of fact. How do you handle this? The first thing to do while alone is to not to let yourself become too inactive or sedentary. The easiest thing to do is to turn on the TV and just become a couch potato. That is highly counter-productive.

What is better is to find something to do. If you have access to a computer, the multi-player games on Yahoo.com may prove to be helpful. It lets you interact with people, even if they are only on the computer. This interaction is important as you can find people to chat with.

Another option is to grab a book and read, or do the crossword. The important thing is to keep busy, and find things that will keep you engaged. If you want to listen to music or have the TV on in the background, that’s fine. But making it the focus of your entertainment will lead to problems.

If it’s a nice day out, being by yourself can lead you to go outside. Take a walk or go for a bike ride. Since exercise raises endorphin levels, it will actually counteract depression, and cheer you up. That’s why going to the gym or other such activities are so good for you in this stage.

If all else fails, go somewhere where there are people with whom you can start a random conversation. The bookstore or a coffeehouse might be good locations. If you find that you are having problems being alone, then the best thing to do is be alone with other people. You never know who might invite you to join in a game of chess.

You can read more about depression at http://www.curemydepression.com

May 4th, 2008

Animal Cruelty: The Key to Serial Minds

Posted by admin in Psychologists Couch

What makes a common person a Serial Killer? According to research, serial killers exhibit what is known as the ‘Triad of Warning Signs in Childhood.’1

Indicators include:

* Firestarting, invariably just for the thrill of destroying things

* Cruelty to Animals: Most children can be cruel to animals, such as pulling the legs off of spiders, but future serial killers often kill larger animals, like dogs and cats, and frequently for their solitary enjoyment rather than to impress peers.

* Bedwetting beyond the age when children normally grow out of such behavior.

One of society’s more notorious serial killers, Jeffrey Dahmer explained that wanted to remove ‘free will’ from his victims so that they would stay with him. In his past, he suffered from abandonment and was afraid of loss and any social upheaval. Another one of his extremely displaced characteristics was that he suffered from low self-esteem. His parents divorced during his teens, and when he did go to college, he performed badly. Upon examination of three psychologists, Dahmer was found to be manipulative, resistant and evasive.2 Further studies of Dahmer revealed that he could not tolerate rejection or abandonment; and that control was the number one factor for him. One clue to his unusually sick behavior was that even in his relationships, Dahmer did not gratify his sexual partners - instead, Dahmer always expected to be pleased by them.

According to Pat Brown’s Book, Killing for Sport: Inside the Minds of Serial Killers ‘…serial killers are of average intelligence….most have low level jobs and make poor decisions. ‘ And, ‘…it is exactly these poor decisions that get them in trouble on their jobs, in their relationships, and in their crimes.’

Based on studies, serial killers usually choose victims that they can easily overpower, such as persons having short height and low weight. Additionally, ’serial killing is not about sex at all, but about power and control and revenge on society.’ 2

Ted Bundy, who murdered at least 36 women, was known for his expressed desire to acquire things. From theft, to the importance of social standing, he pined to break free from the working class from which he was born. Additionally, he ‘needed’ to possess expensive items as well. Per research, Ted came from a single-parent home, was a severe sexual deviate; and women threatened him. He felt the need to not only control them, but to incapacitate them as well. As a teenager, Ted Bundy became known for his violent temper.

But what do serial killers like Dahmer, Bundy and others like them have in common?

‘Jeffrey Dahmer, Ted Bundy, Andrew Cunanan, David ‘Son of Sam’ Berkowitz, and Albert ‘Boston Strangler’ DeSalvo were ALL cruel to animals before they started hurting people.’6 Subsequently, killer teenagers Eric Harris, Dylan Klebold (Columbine HS), and Kip Kinkel were also known for their past history of animal cruelty. In the study from of ‘The Care of pets within child abusing families,’ presented by DeViney & Lockwood, 88 percent of the homes were animal abuse had occurred, children were also abused.

In conclusion, I summise this important literature from the San Francisco Chronicle commentary by Margo DeMello:

“…every time we hear of a young person abusing an animal, it is explained away by family and often authorities as a ‘youthful indiscrection’…What the authorities and parents of these young men fail to realize is that their behavior may signal that something is wrong with these men, which could very easily escalate into something much worse. The evidence is not just anecdotal; numerous studies, including the 1998 work of Randall Lockwood and Frank R. Ascione (“Cruelty to Animals and Interpersonal Violence,” Purdue University Press), have shown that children who engage in animal cruelty are more likely to commit more violent acts as adults. There is also a strong link between abuse of animals and domestic violence, with animal abusers much more likely to batter their wives or girlfriends as well…

Youthful violence toward animals is a very serious issue, and it needs to be taken seriously by not only animal advocates like myself, but by those who are concerned about violence in our society.” - Margo DeMello, Ph.D.

© 2005 Animal Cruelty: The Key to Serial Minds

References

1. Wikipedia - Defining Serial Murders

2. Court TV’s Crime Library - Criminal Minds and Methods (Serial Killer Myths Exposed)

3. Court TV’s Crime Library - Jeffrey Dahmer

4. Illinois State Department of English - Bundy’s Childhood(www.english.ilstu.edu/students/smdare/bundy/tedschildhood.html)

5. ASPCA: Fight Animal Cruelty: Kids and Cruelty

6. San Francisco Chronicle - Cruelty to Animals: A Warning of Possible Violence to Come (Margo DeMello, Ph.D.)

EzineArticles Expert Author C. Bailey-Lloyd

C. Bailey-Lloyd
aka. LadyCamelot
Public Relations’ Director &
Staff Writer for Holistic Junction - Your Source for information on Healing Arts Schools

April 7th, 2008

Sadness of love

Posted by admin in Psychologists Couch

Click any website that talks of sadness of love. You will get
moist eyes after some time. The quotes of some people about the
sadness they feel after losing love are very emotionally
shattering. Why should love bring so much sadness? When a loved
one leaves us for some one else, why do most of us feel
devastated? For many of us it is an earth shaking experience.
What was pure pleasure turns into absolute pain that is
unbearable.

Why does lost love bring so much sadness? A lover cries her/his
eyes dry with sadness, but the sadness does not go away. The
more one tries to avoid thinking of the lost love, the more
memories come back. Every spot where you shared something, every
road where you walked together, every incident that you shared,
they all become deep wounds that never heal. They take away the
essence of living. They leave one lost forever in sadness with a
loneliness that refuses to go away.

What do the people who leave their lover think after leaving? I
have no clue to that. But I know one fact. Such brutes try to
justify their action in many ways. This is their way of telling
their own conscience that what they did was correct. Though they
justify in many ways, I wonder if they ever are satisfied with
their own explanations? One great advantage such people who
leave a life sad is - They depart after giving so much pain that
the one who is left has no desire or energy to go back to them
and ask- Why? To meet one’s lost love again may become very
frightening because of the pain given before. One may begin
perspiring at the very thought.

After knowing about this sadness, I can only say that one feels
that death is better than to live with such sadness. Life
becomes impossible. As there is no way to punish the brutes who
leave a life shattered, the only prayer one can make is - God,
please let her/him know about what she/he did. Please ask
her/him to repent and come back.